ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
