Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
