OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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