Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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