I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
