ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
