Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
