So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize