She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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