Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
