i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
