Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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