I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
