Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
