NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
