The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
