if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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