gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
