I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
