how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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