You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
