Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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