So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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