So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
