just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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