Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
