listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
