I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
