so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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