There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
God gave him joint rollers for hands
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize