Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
