that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
is that a dick in a sweater?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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