curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I didn't notice because vodka
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
