why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Shame - the story of my life.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
