So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
