You just made me feel so damn special
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I need to sanitize my soul.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
