Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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