No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
