hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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