Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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