Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
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