yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
How does one acquire holy water?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
