I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize