Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
