If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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