hotel room ftw
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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