She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
