Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize