therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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