just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
