Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You are a booty call, not a friend.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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