He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
