I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
