why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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