he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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