I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Randomize
