Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
