ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
