Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
